When Harry Met Fatty

Dave and Noah say goodbye and Good Luck Chuck! This film stars Dane Cook, Jessica Alba and your worst migraine! At the age of ten, Dane Cook gets cursed by a Goth girl at a party, forcing him to live a life of always being the "one" right before any woman finds her ONE. After meeting Jessica Alba he decides he can't lose her to the next guy.  There are lots of boobs in this. Dave and Noah take a walk down Fatty lane.  Come join us for this extendo episode! Thanks for listening!

Come visit your Uncle Noah.  He's so lonely!   unclenoahs.com twitter.com/unclenoahs facebook.com/unclenoahs Experience Entertainment Weekly like never before...

This week Dave and Noah just can’t keep a secret, The Secret of My Succes$! This 1987 Rom Com stars Alex P. Keaton himself, Michael J. Fox, along with Helen Slater and Richard Jordan. Fox is just a country boy from Kansas who moves to New York with dreams of becoming the next Donald Trump, a Trump with an even bigger propensity to screw family members. When his first job falls through, he calls his uncle who happens run a multinational conglomerate just down the block.  He gets a job in the mailroom and falls for Helen Slater, a real blue plate special who works in accounting. The boss’ wife throws herself at him while he takes over a vacant office, creating a fake personae that starts making great strides within the corporation.  But falling stocks, a hostile takeover and an even more hostile libido of a horny aunt all conspire to ensare our wily Fox.  Will the secret of his success be strong enough for a man, but PH balanced for a woman? Dave and Noah talk about how to range the Night, the film Ruthless P

This week Dave and Noah sing Que Sera, Sera with Michael Cera in 2009’s crap trap Youth in Revolt. It stars Cera, Portia Doubleday, Zach Galifianakis, Ray Liotta and Steve Buscemi. After swindling a bunch of sailors, Zach Galifianakis has to take his girlfriend and stepson, Cera, on the run to Clearwater, CA. While they are hiding out in a trailer park, Cera falls head-over-heels with Portia Doubleday, the girl next door. When it comes time to leave, Cera arranges to win the favor of Doubleday through a series of juvenile delinquent acts that will get him kicked out of his mom’s house and lead him back into arms of his trailer park princess. In order to accomplish this, Cera must create an alter ego named Francois to show him the ropes in juvenile debauchery. Que Cera, Cera, we hardly knew yee! You’ll never guess what Dave and Noah have hidden in their closet! Plus, the topics of this week’s podcast: the color of Steve Buscemi’s parachute, Jonah Hills we’d die on, and a palette cleanser that is neither cleans

Dave and Noah hop into a shoe closet time machine with Jennifer Garner and set the Flux Capacitor to 13 Going on 30, starring the Alias spy herself, Mark Ruffalo and Judy Greer.  On the day of her 13th Birthday, Jennifer Garner makes a wish to be Thirty, Flirty and Thriving, just like the models in her favorite magazine.  A shoe closet and some novelty wishing dust Rip Van Winkle her 17 years into the future.  She's Thirty and Thriving all right, but flirting with amnesia!  She's a big time magazine editor whose somehow lost touch with her childhood best friend, Mark Ruffalo.  She has to get him back and take the nearest closet out of this alternate timeline, and quick, before she's 30 going on Botex!   Dave and Noah are podcasting stealthily from a housesitting job in St. Paul. Shoe hoarding, Magazine rivalries, Golden Retrievers named Ruby and how to get rid of two corpses whilst handing out candy for Trick or Treaters are some of the many things discussed in this episode. Let's do the Time Warp Again!   

No dave.  Noah goes Nanners Nanowrimo style.  Plus, we read the Katy Perry issue of Entertainment Weekly. 

This Halloween Dave and Noah experience love at first bite! After they finish their Hershey'sn KitKat bars they watch 2013's Warm Bodies starring Nicholas Hoult, Teresa Palmer, John Malkovich, and that awesome dude from Hot Tub Time machine.   The little boy from Nick Hornby's About a Boy is all "growed-up" and wearing Edward-Twilight-white-face for this daring romantic comedy about a zombie that puts down the brains for a beautiful blonde. This film turns Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet on its severed ear, giving us a Julie (Teresa Palmer) whose creepily powerful dad (John Malkovich) doesn't want her messing around with those goddamned Z-words, no matter how cute and red-hoody-licious they are. Join us as we witness the making of an inter-mortal relationship.  We've got corpsey-fever! We've got corpsey-fever! Dave and Noah get fierce and flawless as they put their fashion skills to the test by giving Hollywood's classic monsters the makeover of their dreams! Michael Cera jokes are made and we belatedly mourn

This week Dave and Noah make a deal with the Devil of all remakes: 2000's Bedazzled, starring Brendan Fraser, Frances O'Connor and Austin Powers' Fembot wife Elizabeth Hurley! Brendan sells his soul for seven wishes, and he uses them all for the love of his office crush, Frances O'Connor. Elizabeth Hurley plays the Prince of Darkness but even her 19 different costume changes of hotness can't make this terrible terrible movie any more bearable. If the road to hell is paved with good intentions, then this movie is heaven-sent! Noah makes a deal-a-meal with the Devil in Dave, Dave gets possessed by Tone Loc, and we reveal how to make a Pet Cemetery work for YOU!

This week Dave and Noah discover that there’s always room for J-LO!  They are subjected to 2001’s The Wedding Planner which stars Jennifer Lopez, Matthew McConaughey and Bridgette Wilson-Sampras. Former In Living Color Fly Grrl J-Lo has put down the cross-colors and picked up a palm pilot, becoming San Francisco’s premier wedding planner. However, the only thing she couldn’t plan for was falling in love with the groom of one of her biggest clients!  That’s right, chollo, our former Maid in Manhattan is fare-hopping her way onto the McConaughey express, but not before the evil blonde bride Bridgette Wilson-Sampras can put a stop to it!   The stakes have never been higher than medium rare.  Dave and Noah plan each other’s weddings. And we ordain the next Sausage Queen.

Dave has gone Dodo.  Noah celebrates a happy Falloween.  Beware, he has library stories that will make you clutch your bookmark in terror!

This week Dave and Noah take a joyride, but not with '91 Swede-rock sensation Roxette,  they join the two Coreys in a Caddy for 1988's License to Drive, starring Corey Haim, Heather Graham, Corey Feldman and a bottle of champagne so big, you'll never be able to fit it in your glove compartment! After flunking his written test for a driver's permit, Corey Haim gets asked out by the hottest Roller Girl in California.  She's got a brand new pair of rollerskates and he's got the keys to his Grampa's precious Cadillac.  But will he be able to get caddy back to his daddy in one piece?  Dave shares his surefire methods of study for any student receiving a driver's education. Noah let's his inner gearhead shine and we pay tribute to a Corey who was put in Haim's way.

This week Dave and Noah BUG OUT on 1986's Lucas, starring Corey Haim, Kerri Green, Charlie Sheen, Wynona Ryder and Jeremy Piven.  What Corey Haim lacks in social skills, he more than makes up for in his love for bugs!  While out on one of his entomological quests, he comes across one damn fine specimen: Kerri Green, the new girl in town.  He falls for her, but school begins and she yearns to take to the fields as a cheerleader. Corey joins the football team and endures a heap of homoerotic torture just to earn her love...but her heart has taken a shine to wide receiver Charlie Sheen. Winning! Dave flies to Burbank, California to interview the composer of Lucas' score. Noah suffers PTSD from having to watch a movie that involves sports. 

This week Dave and Noah take the McDreamy Express back to sKool!!!  1987's Can't Buy Me Love stars Patrick Dempsey, Amanda Peterson, Seth Green and Malachai from Children of the Corn!  Before he became Dr. McDreamy, Patrick Dempsey was 'lil McSpazzy, and through a convenient turn of events he secretly pays the most popular girl in his high school one grand to date him for a month.  Popularity, sex, and a snazzy Columbus Day dance ensue, only to quickly succumb to a miscalculated tsunami-esque abundance of emotions, feelings and boring-ass intimacy. A young and annoyingly precocious Seth Green couldn't have said it better, "Something stinks in Suburbia." Dave and Noah share who they would like to rent for a month and Dave gives us a Palette Cleanser that puts the "ore" in "Whore"!

Dave is at a Rave.  Noah meets Royalty. 

This week Dave and Noah crash the party of last century!  Can't Hardly Wait from 1998 stars Ethan Embry, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Seth Green and an assortment of other poor souls who have since succumbed to the Y2K crisis at the turn of the century. In order to earn her Ghost Whisperer wings, Jennifer Love Hewitt breaks up with the most popular stud in school.  Hearing that Jennifer is footloose and fancy free, Ethan Embry takes it upon himself to put out the torch that he's been carrying for her his entire highschool career.  He will pour his heart out to her at the Graduation Kegger that's raging at Molly's house. However, like the Hotel California, this party may have some brewskies on ice, but every person attending is a prisoner of their own device!  Dave gives some sage advice to the class of 1998. Noah consults Wikihow for the what, when and where of life.

This week Dave and Noah get their "just desserts" by watching Just One of the Guys from 1985. This poor man/woman's Tootsie stars Joyce Hyser, Clayton Rohner and "Johhny Lawrence" the Cobrah Kai bully from Karate Kid! Joyce Hyser almost has it all: a bangin' bod, a college boyfriend to bang her bod, her own swimming pool, a friend that wears Cosby sweaters and a sexually precocious little brother.  However, her life can't be complete without a Summer internship at the Phoenix SunTimes.  When her english teacher Mr. Raymaker chooses two boys over her for the coveted position, Joyce decides to literally grow a pair and submit her application as a man at a neighboring highschool. Gender Bender hilarity attempts to ensue, delivered unto us by a chariot of 80's pop synthesizers.  Dave and Noah head to the Warren family farm to ready their back to school supplies lists. Tucked away in the dark hills of River Falls, Wisconsin, they are far from the reach of any surprise jock inspection. 

This week Dave and Noah put down their food diaries and pick up The Nanny Diaries, starring Scarlett Johansson, Laura Linney, Paul Giamatti, Captain America and the ebony of all ivory: Alicia Keys! How far will Scarly Jo go to find herself this summer? Having just graduated with a degree in Anthropology, she randomly gets offered a job to be a nanny for Laura Linney's Upper East Side Strife.  Minding a precocious brat whose parents alternate between being perpetually bitchy or lecherously horny to her, Scarly Jo soon catches the eye of Chris Evans, a Harvard Hottie who lives in the same building. Can his honky-but hunky love lift her up where she belongs? Only her Ethnic Best Friend Alicia holds the Keys to that quandary. There once was a Nanny named Dave, who minded a cruiseship of knaves....Noah becomes your ethnic best friend.  

This week Dave and Noah get a case of the "grumpies" and head over to Wabasha, MN  for 1993's Grumpy Old Men.  This is the conclusion of our Four part Summer series Fatty Goes Local, where we celebrate all Rom Coms related to Minnesota. Grumpy Old Men stars The-Odd-Couple-turned-Old-timers Jack Lemmon and Walter Matthau. These two are proof positive that you don't need a family to have a feud, just a neighbor. Having spent decades feuding over the love of one woman, (who oddly enough isn't in the picture), Matthau and Lemmon find new realms in their contempt for each other after Ann-Margret moves in next door. Madison, the mermaid from Splash pops up in this, to give us a palette cleanser from all the liver spots. Noah tells us why we must avoid Lake Pepin. Dave gets blinded by a date, revved up like a deuce, which, in turn, makes him another runner in the night.

Dave has turned around bright-eyed and isn't available.  Noah has a birthday and the worst first week of being 34.  Listen closely for the breakdown, right after the closing theme. Its a stolen moment of for reals. 

The dreck of the Nineties is alive in Dave and Noah's psyche as they suffer through 1999's She's All That starring Minnesota native Rachael Leigh Cook.  This is part 3 of our summer series Fatty Goes Local, where we celebrate the fruits of our state's talent pool. Or talent-lake perhaps?  With Eight weeks left of his high school career, big-man-on-campus Freddie Prinze Jr. gets dumped by Harrison High's most popular prom queen. Freddie wagers with his buddies that before the end of the school year he can turn any girl of their choosing into prom queen material. Enter Rachel Leigh Cook, Harrison High's most "hideous" art nerd, who, dig this, wears her hair in a ponytail and hides her peepers behind...GLASSES! Uh Freddie, you're gonna need a bigger corsage! Dave talks about how he became a potato farming Mormon for a year and Noah shares a story about how he once drove 20 miles to see a theatrical showing of Josie and the Pussycats...by himself.